I finally heard back from my superiors. Yes, I’ve been Mommying for eight years, and never a WORD of encouragement from my three foot and under bosses. Then today, when Emma wanted a fudgesicle, I said “here, have mine” and handed her mine. There was actually some strange power in the moment, because we all looked at the fudgesicle. Nathan said “You’re the best mommy.” Then, while we were still shocked, he said “And Lilly’s the best baby, and you’re the best sister, Emma.” He was seriously feeling the love. And finally, I have gotten some positive feedback for these wasted, wasted years I've slaved away with no paycheck and been emotionally drained as a bonus! Except, of course, if you count all the times they let me tie their shoes when they still wore shoes that fit in the palm of my hands. Or when they sneak in bed at night and snuggle in and I wake up with no room but nice and warm. Or the walking and holding hands. Or all those acres and acres of heart layers I’ve grown from walking in the shadow of that big love from those tiny bodies. This is a miracle, this growing of children. Who are now big enough to look at a dripping fudgesicle and realize that it’s all love, what we’re doing.
