Party On Dude

Went to the birthday party today for a 7 year old. A school friend, Sony Trinitron as I want to call her. I did not feel like spending three hours out of my life to hang out in a million degrees heat with people I didn't know well. But I am The Mom. So. Off I go.

Mistake number 1 - woke the baby up to go to the party. Mistake #2 - did not wear bathing suit to party with water slide. Mistake #3 - trying to make conversation with ebuillent young black chick in roomy shirt. I had overheard someone say "are you ready for the big day?" And she said "Yes! I just can't wait for it to be here already." Assumed she was pregnant. Said to her later, "So are you having a baby? I heard about the Big Day." She didn't look so happy. I know now she was feeling fat. Because of me. "No, my daughter's getting married," she said. I had succeeded in making no inroads to black and white relations, AND I had said "nice pregnancy" to someone who hadn't been pregnant in 22 years.

I'm not the best conversationalist in general anyway. So I got my phone to call Chris and talk about the 2 year old at the party who had a man's face, and was scaring me like I was on acid. She seriously had a block head with some nice black curls in the back, the only saving grace. But the face was like a permanent scowl, and she looked like a mini man. I couldn't stop staring at her. So I called Chris and I forgot that I dropped my phone on the street at gymnastics and now no one can hear me on the phone. So even if she had answered (which she hadn't), she couldn't have heard me anyway. I tried to leave a message and the voicemail couldn't hear my tragic voice talking about the scary man baby. Plus I was sitting in wet clothes because the baby had decided the slide was too "Cary" and needed me to climb inside the water tomb, up the flat inflated ladder and down through the rain forest with her on my lap. I spent the rest of the party leaving water stains on every piece of furniture in the house.

I checked out all the other moms that walked in. Nice tight polyesther dresses (ick, but they were trying, man). Hair and make up accomplished. I looked in the mirror in the bathroom. Crappy old pink t-shirt, circa 1996, shorts, hard chlorine summer hair hadn't been washed in many days. That 40+ haggard appeal. Nice tan, I thought.

Followed Lilly around like her dog to make sure she didn't fall into anything or slip through a heating grate or something, she's pretty small. She's hardy. But small. My pants stayed soggy and I managed to rub some nice chafing marks onto my thighs from sitting and walking in wet pants for three hours.

There was actually a kid there named Magnus.

Since my phone wouldn't work, and I was trapped on someone's bed while Lilly played on the bunkbed next to me, I asked some 6 year olds for paper. I thought I'd write down some thngs to tell Chris, or maybe write an actual LETTER. But kids can't find anything. You ask them to look, they say "Oh yeah!" brightly, they take like three shuffling steps, and then they forget and start to play with the toy they find under the bed. So that went well.

There was a door that said "Beware - kittens. Do not open." I'm sorry, but some rules just have to be broken. Very very purry and cute, by the way.

No amount of pizza could fill up the gaping hole I was feeling, but I tried pretty hard anyway, 3 pieces and several crusts. Then I promised I wouldn't eat cake and it was cupcakes and they were kind of hard. Looked better in the brochure.

I don't know, man. I know I'm a conscious outsider. Everyone looked they were just trying to get through so they could get to another party they could just get through. Or maybe it was me. Two men sat sucked into a low couch watching a big screen television and ignoring the entire party. I admired their passion.

Presents opening, my ticket to freedom. Time to go!! The kids and I trailed to the car. Hot asphalt, Lilly in only a diaper, she HAD to stop and step off the road to smell a red rose just about to bloom. It took her five minutes to manuever herself through the gravel and vines to get her nose to that rose. I loved that. There was no place else she needed to be. She had all the time in the world, and that was a rose right there, smiling at her.

I guess I'm so in the midst of this ambling, dream-like life with the kids, I forget that everything is not a fable. Sometimes it all looks fake - taking me to a party can be taxing.

The best part - the kids had a great time.