Boarder Patrol

We have this boarder at our house, she's keeping her goats and sheep in the barn. She's also my mom's new best friend. She's the daughter who talks to her and spends time with her. My mom can suddenly switch allegiance to a virtual stranger in seconds. It's alarming, and charming, if you're the stranger. Not the daughter, who's standing there, feeling awkward.

Anyway, I got this horse. I thought I was getting this horse for the family. But I learned something, when shopping for a horse, make sure and actually shop OFF OF THE COMPUTER. I have the baby, so I didn't want to drive for 2 hours to look at the horse. Why drive when they can just bring the horse to you? Here's why - because the horse is NOT THE RIGHT HORSE. He's huge. He's off the track, an ex-racehorse. SO what if he was free. This is not the horse to put your 2 year old on.

He is, however, the horse your boarder would like to have. So just like that, I handed over the reins (literally) to my boarder.

So now I have a horse that I take care of and stare at everyday, who isn't mine. Who I can't really use for anything, but who takes up space in the yard so I can't actually ever have a horse of my own. Unless it was tiny. A pony. Hey wait, ponies. Kids. Hmm.

The bigger question is, why I am not spending time with the kids? What am I doing??
Enjoying a soul crushing midlife crisis. He's out in the barn munching hay. Luckily it's hay I'm not paying for now that the boarder has taken him on.

Yes, this life I'm leading. Rather embarrassing. When you feel things, and you see time rushing by and you're trying to grab onto these relationships - it's full of all this emotion. A huge horse isn't going to fill in the gap.

I've decided to spend time with the kids. Stop trying to do everything. Try to do one thing. Make the one thing great. Enjoy the time. Relish the time. Ketchup the time. Enjoy free things. Stop trying to own everything so it can't grow up and leave me.

This mom gig. It's brutal.