Took Nathan to the emergency room today. He was fine, he was just company. I had stepped on a board in the barn yesterday and brought my foot back up with a nail and board attached to my heel. I pulled it off ouch and look at that nice rusty nail that came out of my foot. Damn these goats for trying to eat pieces of the barn and leaving naily boards strewn around for me to step on barefoot. Goats are really annoying. They're like bad waiters. They wander around looking for things to get into, anything but bringing you an extra water or a menu.
Anyway, emergency room, Nathan, 10 yrs old, and me, a fat orderly guy washing my foot (very dirty foot, oh my god, how is my foot that dirty at 44?) a hospital bed, faintly striped curtains curtaining off us from Road Rash guy next door and 4 Days With Fever Girl to the right. Life seems weird when everything slams to a stop and the room is white and you're sitting on a hospital bed on a Sunday afternoon with your giant son. He had two holes in his Cash Cab t-shirt. We talked about rashes. He wanted to know what a Road Rash was. The guy next to us had run a marathon, and I guess fallen and scraped himself during it.
When the doctor was in there with him, behind the thin curtain between us, she was asking Road Rash "Can you bend your neck to your shoulder?" Both Nathan and I bent our necks to our shoulder. "Can you raise your arm?" We did. "Can you make a fist?" We both made fists. "Can you squeeze my fingers?" We squeezed each other's fingers.
Nathan doesn't like to sit for very long. He realizes how tired he is. He stood up to look at the guy across the room getting his cast sawed off. I said "Let's start a rumor. Oh my god they're AMPUTATING his HEAD??"
I never have time alone with Nathan. It's like I forfeited that time when I had Emma, and then Lilly sealed the deal. So Nathan and I haven't grown together in about 8 years. We have some catching up to do.
I asked him about school, because I'm worried since they switched the classes around, that he's not being educated, like, at all. "Do you think the teachers are too easy?" Yes, he says. Hmm. "Do you think you'll try really hard?" Hmm. He shrugs. No. I said "What's your favorite thing to do of all time?" Ride in a golf cart, he says.
Nathan's 10 yr old way of communicating is more short bursts of squeals, banging into me with his body, or asking me to do something physical, like jump on the trampoline, after about 3 hours of playing baseball. He's a fireball of energy, while looking like a very relaxed and mellow guy. I just look at him with energy draining, my feet hurting, and feel like god how will I survive you? You deserve someone, I don't know, running marathons. Someone less curl up in bed with an old movie. I do try to sit on him and punch him as much as I can. It's feeble, he deserves so much more wallop. I'll wallop more tomorrow. I'll screech and tackle him and talk about I don't know, how do you talk? When he's more of a feeler. Wait, I'm a great feeler. Shut off Mom brain, and just feel.
He's still here. He's still sleeping in the other room. He's still 10. My wonder boy.
They gave me the Tetanus shot. It didn't hurt. It's good for 10 yrs. I said, next time I have a tetanus shot, you'll be 20 yrs old. You'll be 54, he told me. I said, You'll be in college. He moaned. School is boring. I said, school IS boring. But college is great. You can eat pizza on your way to class and jam into elevators with about 200 people, and take classes you actually like. He looked dubious.
Let's get out of here, I said. We half ran out of there, me hobbling, Nathan, my baby 10 years ago, and now we wear the same sized shoes.
I think we're happy, and lucky. Happy is so quiet.
