Drawing Outside the Lines

My self is dripping all over my shoes.

There's the biggest boy going to college soon. The middle girl going to put people into space with her math abilities. The smallest one still lets me wash her hair.

There's me so loud inside and no one can hear me. There's classes of kids all around me and they're so loud I can't hear myself. There's a movie I made that is funny. There are a million chickens at my house.

I have built a huge, wobbly life, and part of me is flattened under it, like where is David Hasselhoff (ew) to come pull me out and set me right. And now suddenly I want to do everything, and be everything and hurry up put the coin in and go on the ride because what if a tsunami comes and we're all wiped out? I have to do it ALL, and right NOW.

I have enough zen master in my mind to tune all of that out and breathe and wait. Find out what all the fuss is. There is a wave of motion running through me. Sometimes the me in me gets bigger than the outline of me can contain. That's when I usually aim it all into a writing project, so you know, I don't mangle myself or others. Aim the feelings and something beautiful takes shape, over there, made of words.

If you don't hear from me, I will be writing. Summer is coming. I wonder what I'll be building.