Let's check in with Old Mother Hover, shall we?
So it's been three days since Nathan left for college. Here's what we've done.
Since we had a terrible accident that ate our car and barely missed eating us, we've been down to one tiny car and we're not a small people. I was looking at Honda Vans on Craigslist until the screen was blurring, and either Nathan, B or I would dash out and see the cars all across town. Some cars, like some owners, were trashed and ripped and had pieces missing, and some were sleek and mobster and too expensive. Nathan and B finally found one in perfect shape, a 2006, blue, that looked like it had been put to bed every night in its own bedroom with soup on a porcelain tray and a linen napkin. Nathan and B loved the car of course, and told the tiny, wiry Asian owner (seriously, the guy could use match sticks for crutches. He might even be too big for them) - they said - we like the car, we'd like to take it to our mechanic. The guy got upset and said I AM THE MECHANIC. The boys said, backing away like we had to every other car, OKAY MAN. THANKS ANYWAY.
A day later, Asian Mobster texts me and says we can take the car to our mechanic if we still want to, he will make arrangements for someone to have the car waiting for us. Here's what he texts me, no lie: Go to parking lot in Van Nuys. Go inside Nail Salon. Ask for Kimberlina. Give her your key. She will take a picture of your driver license. She will give you key.
We drive to the place. I go inside. There is a lady in a massage chair with her feet soaking. Two Asian manicurists. One gets up.
"Kimberlina?" I say.
"You want maniure?" she says, smiling squeaky clean.
""Kimberlina?"
The lady just smiles like I said nothing.
"Mannipeddi?"
A mannipeddi is sounding really good sure.
"The car? We're here to see the car?"
The lady is not used to anyone asking for a car in the nail salon.
I know for sure this is all some sort of scam involving guns filled with nail polish remover. I start backing out.
"Kimberlina?" I try one more time.
A lady suddenly materializes from the back (I guess you have to say her name three times) and she's suddenly Kimberlina. How did the other lady not know her, she obviously works here and owns the place.
I really want a pedicure.
We get the key, we take the car to the mechanic. I'm paranoid, figuring as soon as we left with the car they called it in as stolen and I will be spending the night getting my ass kicked in county lock up.
Our mechanic says something he's never said to us in 20 years with all the cars he's seen of ours.
"THIS IS A GREAT CAR."
We drive the car back.
We make an offer to the guy. Way low. We make enough offers that finally he says yes to the number we wanted it to be to begin with. He says he can't meet us until the next night. I say no. I have jury duty. I actually have jury duty.
He says meet him at 8pm at the nail salon. Bring the cash.
We get there at dark. Everything is chained and locked up. I take a picture of B in front of the nail salon sign because I'm assuming we will both be murdered here and it's good to have one last picture. I tell him "let's tell him he can have the money in your pocket if he can answer this ONE RIDDLE."
The guy shows up. He looks like the kind of dog at the pound that hasn't eaten in a week and who also looks like he could bite your throat out. Nobody adopts this dog.
We sign the deal, we drive the car home. Which would be great if I wasn't terrified in the car from the accident now.
At home I have to call in and see if I have jury duty. I am feeling this hole what is this hole oh it's no Nathan. 18 whole entire years and now my first night no Nathan.
Emma leans over me crying because her AP Physics homework is so hard and she's the smartest person in California. I tell her to show me the book. She shows me the book and I start crying too because why, people. Life is hard enough, why make people learn this shit too. We call her brother Bruce who has a Bachelor's in Physics and he is now also crying. Oh, and Emma says, I want to take a class on Tuesdays and Thursday nights for two hours at the college. Calculus. And Lilly pipes up from the living room where her best friend, the ipod screen is. Oh tomorrow's my Back to School Night, she adds. And don't forget basketball practice.
The middle of the night I can't sleep, I'm a bereft zombie, I am missing Nathan so I put one of the library movies in that I rented, Cat On a Hot Tin Roof because I wanted to know what the big deal was with this play and Paul Newman is a babe, you could just watch him standing there saying nothing and Elizabeth Taylor's bra should be in a concrete museum. I'm finally actually watching one of the library movies, usually I rent them, don't watch them, return them late and pay the fee. It's sort of an extra business I've started. I keep wanting to watch with Emma but she's got like 40 classes and carrying around her giant brain in her dancer's body keeps her from doing stuff like watching seriously old movies with people like me.
So I text Nathan and say I miss you. Lilly is sleeping in your bed.
And he writes back, She's me now.
Tears.
This "letting them go" shit is exactly that.
I text my older fake son phD student Bruce: I miss Nathan bro. He's the only one I like around here.
He texts me back: You tried to hatch 3 friends. 1/3 pleases you. In school that's an F, but in life it might be like a B/B-.
Nathan is happy. He has friends there. Maybe he won't come home as much as he thought he would. Oh that feels terrible.
So all these millions of moments I've had with this boy, I am missing piling more on. It is what I do. I kept him close.
So I write a short play about a mom who goes to Urgent Care because her son is leaving for college. Because an aching heart is an Urgent matter.
I fill out lawyer paperwork about the car accident. I make the nightly call: I don't have to show up for jury duty. I snuggle in with Emma, my few fleeting minutes with her, curled up with her computer on her chest.
For now I will just climb in my new Asian mafia car that has never seen a McDonald's French fry or a spilled In n Out Shake, and I will feel lost. I will drive safely and I will wait, I'll be okay.
Til I see him again.