Then later I got her a new bathing suit (new to you on ebay anyway) because I can't put her in underwear and bra with all the swimming, forget it, so this is close enough and hers are all worn out, the ones she left here like 10 years ago that are still in the drawer of course, so she loved it, a pretty blue and then started reading the label.
JANTZEN
a girl is flying on there. (there's a drawing of a girl diving)
over C C C C (which were waves drawn on but did look like Cs, so A+ bro)
and then L (large)
(these are the translations, duh)
Then she is reading very slowly
do not bleach
do not (spells) I -R -O -N
do not.... may F-A-D
(may fade, I say)
She looks at me pretty seriously and says so far it doesn't sound very nice.
She looks down at it, resigned. Thinking pretty realistically: Why don't you turn it in and get something you really like, there's alot of things against it.
(this was the BEST moment of my day)
Then she reads the whole label again. And gets to
Colors may FADE. (she says again)
She sighs. I say, as we're sitting outside in the gorgeous sunshine, with dogs and pool and eating chicken salad and this conversation is fairly entertaining, so I say all colors fade after awhile you don't have to worry about it.
She thinks. That's true. Well you might as well throw it away. It'll be fine maybe for the first time.
She looks at the deep royal blue color, with serious misgivings. Finally resolves, It's pretty right now though.
Then she read it TWO MORE TIMES. After which I wanted to hit her with a bookshelf. Then I went swimming to do laps and she read the glossary for Gilgamesh (which emma left out) and fell asleep. But I was happy she was reading so I read her a poem when she woke up which she liked and immediately handed me some dog hair wrapped in a leaf. She's an amazing cleaner.
For the rest of us needing more input on what will be on your Dementia warning label, here's what's coming at you: You will not like huge dog bones on the floor. The ones that look like elephant knuckles. You will find those so disturbing and complain about those SO MUCH and hide them so I keep finding them under cushions and pool towels and stuffed behind the table. And the most serious note - all flies are your mortal enemy. It's like flies wiped out her village. She's General Patton with flies.
On a good note, apparently you can always remember bad Chinese food. She kept talking about the Panda we ate yesterday and said that was the worst thing I ever had in my life.
I'm pretty sure there should be a Dementia ride at Disneyland, and there should definitely be a Dementia candy. Think of the fun packaging. The ride will just be an endless line and there's no prize at the end.
The good part about being the daughter to the dementia is that you still ignore and mistreat your mother the same way you did when she was regular. Like I knew it was too late to give her a bath but she was in a bad mood and I wanted to irritate her so I said let's go wash up. So I forced her to get into the bath which I knew she would do (95% sure) and then later apologized for doing it at night when she's better in the morning. But still I got the bath done. I felt like wrestling and winning a battle and I got that one but in general she wins all the battles and I'm just her medical waitress with inside keys to her inner thoughts kingdom from years of scurrying down those tunnels. So sometimes I use those keys for my own personal gain.
On the third reading of the bathing suit, after do not iron, she did find that funny. Duh she said. Looking at me with humor like It's a bathing suit, man.
So. Colors don't all fade.
