Your mom is your oldest friend. I was thinking yesterday, when I was crying most of the day. That's why it's so painful to watch them turning into air, turning back into the earth. They aren't your biggest fan anymore. Imagine losing your oldest friend. You need those people. They tell you how you feel about yourself.
I'm still learning this disease. Not taking it personally. Having a sense of humor. Trying to be gentle and help when she can't figure out how to put a dish in the dishwasher. Even when I open the dishwasher and show her.
She has fallen 3 times in 3 weeks. Last night I went in at 4 am because she fell into the closet while getting out of bed. I had to heft her back up. I've been teaching school in her house in the mornings and the light in there is actually beautiful. Pretty nice job, on zoom with kindergartners, in my pajamas, with dogs at my feet, my mom napping in the sun in a chair. If only her brain wasn't mostly air. Not like before, ha, when she was normal. Like for real now.
GET UP SOLDIER, is what I basically said when I hefted her out of the closet this morning in the dark. Get up soldier, is what I say to myself.
Things that ease dementia pain for daughters: family. dogs. horses. sun. my bed. ebay. kindergarten. nutella. laughter.
