We were supposed to go to Disneyland today. Our first time since the virus. But instead I texted Emma a video of my mom crying through breakfast.
This is the ride I'm on, I said.
Then I thought, as I fed her eggs which mostly fell on her chest, maybe there should be a Dementialand. It has all the greatest areas. Here's the rides and the lands:
Angerland
It Doesn't Matterhorn
Alice in Wanderland
Indiana Jones and the Temple of Gloom
Spaced Out Mountain
Big Thunder Sadness
It's a Frail World
Mickey's Loontown
The Monotone rail
Peter ShortenedlifesPan
Tom Sawyer Cryland
Mr. Toad's Wild Depression
Jungle You'reScrewed
Tarzan's Family Emergency Treehouse
Haunted Moansion
Pirates of Medication
Finally Sleeping Beauty Carousel
Snow Wrong
Casey Jr Gibberish Train
Mad Hatter's Wheelchair Party
Automaticbedtopia
Lash out Mountain
You're Never Finding Nemo
Cries thru the Resistance
Smugglers Got the Runs
No Tomorrowland
The Last Frontierland
I Wish It Was Fantasyland
Not the Adventure I Was Hoping For Land
Star kFuture Wars Land
Emma said we should map out Dementialand
and decide the order we want to ride stuff in
She said think I'll take a spin on Mr. Toad's Wild Depression
I'm just happy cause after watching Ricky Gervais, I decided to adopt the pact he has with his brother - his brother says it is a requirement
if you think something funny, you have to say it
This is your time on earth.
My mom is sleeping now. I'm typing one handed.
And I'm about to make a map.
