I had to eat lunch with Elaine's mom, a basketball mom. She ASKED me to lunch like ME, no other party favor people to loosen the blow, all the focus would be on how entertaining I could be AND she asked me to go like three weeks ahead of when we would eat.
There are so many things wrong here I don't think I even have enough cyberpaper to explain how this was so horrifying for me in every way. I can just say I only like to eat alone in my car.
But Nathan said aw, that's so nice she invited you. She likes you.
WHAT
What have I ever done to get anyone to like me. And then to have to PERFORM at a lunchDATE
Okay so I said okayokay Nathan says it's nice okay I'll go sure I'll go let's go to Panda. I thought I'd say the shittiest place possible I thought maybe she'd say no cause she's fancier than me but she said yes
and then it gets to be 3 weeks later and then the day before and I forgot all about it and then Bess said oh Elaine said you're eating with her mom tomorrow and then I have to text her and say oh are we eating
Then she says yes and I can bring it to your house
I was like NOOOO now I have to clean my HOUSE? And how can I get rid of this situation in an hour like I wanted to be able to do at a RESTAURANT
sorry I'm yelling
but then ok she shows up and I have cleaned but also I have decided my house can be mostly the way it is because my house is comfy and then she comes in and she's so happy and she DOES NOT HAVE PANDA she has sandwiches and I WANTED PANDA
and then she says where is B, he should eat with us and I did not plan for that so I go out to B's office where he just ate and I'm like please come in don't leave me alone with this
so he comes in and they talk about basketball for half an hour while I eat all the sandwiches and then I get so bored I start gluing flowers onto barrettes to make hair clips and then b leaves and I'm up I have to ask a bunch of questions to keep seeming interesting and finally it's over and I give her a hair clip and I shut the door and I say I hate people and I put my pajamas back on
and then she texts me I had a wonderful time
and I feel like a douche. Like I was just about to break up with her and then
So now we have to do this more often apparently but I think I have to say BRO I cannot enjoy eating with anyone I can't cuss around or that doesn't take place on a couch or on the way back from costco in the car
Also if I am required to still see human beings then can we take a pottery class or something so I can do something squishy or fun with my hands so we can be DOING something and I don't have to seem interesting
I think there is a late onset autism I may be sprouting or maybe it's just I am already overwhelmed with the caring for people I can't do the sitting at a table with the blank slate that is my mind and be able to converse freely without feeling crushed
so in closing yes she is maybe the nicest person ever
and I really want orange chicken
