Did I mention the chickens? Last night I had a dream I was buying a horse farm, only the dream was hardly at all about horses. I kept wandering into the chicken area, where I apparently had all these chickens, and all of them were hungry but none of them were laying eggs. I kept trying to feed them all, and there were so many. And where were the horses? Then I woke up to my non-horse household, and there were all these kids instead, and I could hear the peep peeping of the one-month old chicks we inherited one month ago, in a cage under a table in the living room. Cause it's too cold to put them outside yet. They are now infiltrating my dreams.
Chickens have a really good bedtime. When they're down, they're down and don't bother them. Forget watching tv. They just snuggle right up and they fall over once they get sleeping deeply enough. We actually like the chickens. They're different every day, a little bigger, a little redder. Less of a McNugget, more of a meal. Oh wait, that was Hank talking. He's the dog who lives here that will eventually eat the chickens.
I spend part of each morning putting them outside in their wild habitat, giving them cover from the rain, spreading their crushed corn feed onto the grass. The baby and I like to watch them, sitting on half-deflated basketballs that lay near the cage. They're not the greatest pet. They kind of rush away from you when you try to get them, confirming your inner knowledge that you are a giant evil carnivore. But they're cute. And they go peep peep.
This week has been hard. Helping friends who are dealing with family problems, hospitals, addictions. All these areas where I am helping, but inside I am a big chicken. I can't really do much but show up, be exasperated, but act like I'm not. Be powerful and powerless all at once. All I know is that in the midst of all this, my little family ended up at Sizzler after visiting the sick friend at the hospital, and all I could think was lucky, lucky, there's an ice cream machine, lucky, we're so lucky. Look at these beautiful kids. Look at that husband that is even-tempered, reliable, loving. Look at my haphazard life where I am not getting anywhere, necessarily, but wow, look where I am. Right in the middle of a wonderful, regular life.
My friend Tina helped to guide me into the realm of craziness that was happening with our other friends. She said we needed to be there for them. I appreciate having people on the outside who say time to help people who need it, even if it's hard or hurts. She's a noble person, and she made me feel shinier just knowing her.
From one chicken to another.
