Armpits and Arithmetic

I've just spent 2 days subbing in the same 3rd grade classroom. Why do kids need to throw erasers? And write notes to each other instead of writing fascinating essays on Martin Luther King? Also why do they have to say "Oh, I don't have my homework," and then when I say "Well you'll have to redo it during recess," and then they say "Oh you mean THIS homework." Yesterday I was popcorn sub, rewarding them with popcorn. Today I was screamy Why Are You Getting Out of Your Seat, do you want to miss computer lab? sub.

During computer lab, one little kid from somewhere near India said she didn't like computers and wanted to stand next to me and talk to me instead. She is a tiny little thing. I didn't really want to have any more talking to anyone, I had spent 6 hours in a row, talking to 25 people. That's like good for me, for like a YEAR. But she's standing right there with her cute little haircut, so I start listening to her. She said she had four fish but they died and she can't have anymore because her family says she isn't "responsible." (??!) Then she said she likes to watch Nickelodeon all day after school. And she doesn't like her family that much because her mom makes her pick white things out of her mom's hair, and her armpits. She doesn't like to do this. (What the he...?)

She did a LOT of sharing. I felt some doctor/patient confidentiality here, but then I remembered I'm no doctor. Also what the hell was she picking out of her armpits? Is this some ancient indian thing? She also told me in her country there's a crown of God, and if you pick up the crown, you can see god's hair. But if you pick up the crown you will go to jail.

I totally want to pick up God's crown. Isn't that kind of worth going to jail for? Also I have a problem with religion right now. I always feel like yelling LIE!! I mean, FABLE!

Okay, also, we were studying MLK Jr, and one of the "journal prompts" they had to answer was "How do you think Martin Luther King's experience as a preacher helped him in his non-violent protests?"

These kids are 8 years old!! I barely understood the question. Most kids wanted to know what the word "preacher" meant. And then I had to rephrase the question into an equally boring kid-worded question, like "MLK was a guy who worked at a church. How did his work at the church help him talk to people about not using violence?" Mostly the kids wanted to switch seats, overtalk, talk loudly, sit sideways in their chairs and refill their pencil leads, spend a GREAT deal of time looking the other direction from where I am talking. The ONLY time it is quiet is when we are reading out loud, and taking turns. Also, with Common Core, there is WAAAY too much writing. There is no hands-on science. Or art. Or music. So as much as I could, I had them act out stuff, to use their bodies. I had them reinact a black guy sitting and eating and a white guy coming in and saying "You can't eat here." I had the black guy/actor say "I'm not doing anything wrong." I reinacted passive resistance! That was pretty cool. I only figured they'd go home and say "Teacher says sometimes it's good to go to jail. We acted it out in class."

Well, they learn about jail at school and picking out someone's armpits at home.

I think that teaching is not like what you think it is. Aside from the managing the chaos, which is like my own homelife, times a billion, all in one small room, for 6 straight hours, once you redirect and redirect them to work - get to work - are you writing? - AMAZING JOB! - Table 6!! NO TALKING!! - I think they learn through all the noise. They actually DO the work, we did 20 problems of fractions. I will say I suffered through 20 problems of fractions. I am not qualified to teach fractions to anyone, mostly because fractions always talk about "how many pieces of pizza are missing" and I just want to eat pizza.

The best part of my day is I see Lilly at snack, and I get to run home at lunch. At lunch I see the dog and Barry and the horses, and I say "those kids are terrible." And someone said, "Just look at their faces and see dollar signs. You're making money." But when I get back to class, I only see faces. I want to do my job well, and I want them to learn what they need to learn. Sometimes the biggest thing you learn is that when you're writing fractions, you draw the line first. Then you figure out what the bottom number is, and what the top number is. But first you remember to draw your line. Way back when, somebody taught you first to draw that line, and be good at remembering just that.

One little thing.