You don't take photos of the worst parts of your trip, this is when you need a camera crew following you. If only we were a midget family, not only would there have been more space in taxis, but also we would have been a novelty and someone would pay to travel with us and catch our mishaps.
Milan was the mishap. With a capital SH.
Before we left, B noticed in our itinerary that we had a half an hour to switch trains in Milan, and we had to switch train stations too. Emma looked it up and the station is like an 8 minute walk. We could uber it in 4 minutes. We said, we can do it. No problem.
Yeah that's okay but as we're leaving Venice we notice that our train is running a little late. We watch the train times as we're passing each station and now we're down to a 12 minute window to leave this train, dash out of the station with all our stuff, catch an uber, get to the next station, dash in, find the train, get on the train.
This is not a good feeling.
We pull into the station and dash out at Milan. We go down the first exit stairway (mistake #1) and we're in tunnels and then climbing out the world's longest staircase to get out and Emma ordered an uber and this exit dumps out out in some back alley, not even the station, like the station's dirty little secret. It's raining. So we're freaking out because we don't know the right way to go and we're running down the street toward where we know the front of the station must be but then Emma says wait the uber will come right here. But we're scared to wait so we're halfway down the street then halfway back and she says no the uber just cancelled
the worst sentence ever. We have like 10 minutes now. How is this going to work? So we're running again down this wet back street toward where the station must be again and then Emma yells up okay there's an uber coming again
and we get to a street corner and we're sure we're fucked but suddenly there is this uber and he's helping us pile our shit in and we say we have to run man
and he gets us fast down streets and around and up and we're sure we'll never make it it's like 6 minutes now
we get to the station, pile out, I check the seats to make sure we have everything, we run into the station, we spazzily stare at everything all at once, where is our train, where is the track, how to get in
we run up stairs, down stairs, thru ramps, finally running to the actual track. There's a train on the track that isn't ours, ours is the one BEHIND it so we run farther along the length of this NOT train, and then we're running next to our train and then it's ok we get on
it's ok
we are on! How did we do this. We're soaking and breathless and sweating
we have lugged all our stuff so we stop in this first car we got on, the club car which is just two tables and a bar for buying food at the very end. at the tables there's a couple at the corner sitting in one and I say maybe we should just stay in here
we have seats emma says
I say yeah but it's so crowded
let's just get our seats she says
Ok
Wait
We're all sweating and brain fried from the stress, the train switch and the run and all the lugging, those back alley huge stairs so I say wait lemme take off my sweatshirt. So I'm taking it off untangling myself from all our travel supplies and then peeling off my soggy sweatshirt and then tie it on me and we're all taking off our outer clothes and then we gather all our stuff and start lugging it down a few cars past a million crammed people to get to our car. We're in the luggage end of our car and deciding where to put our bags and I look down at my shirt as the train is starting to move and I say the dreaded words wait
where is my bag
Emma stares at me and I turn cold that cold feeling when you know life is over suddenly
I start shaking my eyes wide it's the passport bag
where's my bag wheresmybag I always have my bag I never leave my bag it's always right here it's on me it's basically tied on me where is it
It's not there. I start looking in other bags but knowing that it's not in there I didn't put it there Ineverputithere and I say call the uber call the uber I am shaking very hard and everything has gone freezing hot white and pinpointy Emma catches my horror our trip just stops dead she is scrambling looking him up how do you do that I hope she knows how to do and the train is moving and I'm thinking I lost the passports I lost our money and our credit cards we have no i.d. and no money and we're trapped in this country and what do I do do we get off the train at the next stop and turn around and how do we get anywhere I have no money do you get trapped in a country forever is that what an embassy does how do I find an embassy why is this happening it's not in the uber I know I checked the uber I check every fucking thing every thing we do every place we go
Emma is watching me have a complete meltdown then I fast backward in my mind wait wait wait I didn't drop it I didn't I what did I do wait I took my sweatshirt off, I untangled myself I was ON THE TRAIN
NATHAN it has to be in that car
Nathan starts running back to the club car.
I leave all my stuff with Emma it has to be there stay here
I am running back through the cars, Nathan is not even visible he has gazelled ahead of me, there are so many people putting their stuff away clogging the aisles and I am shoving Sorry! Sorry! WATCH OUT! I HAVE TO GO!
I get to the club car and Nathan is already at the other end of it like he's heading into the next car and I'm like no, this is the car but he has nothing in his hands and I'm ice cold shaking in fear oh nooooo this can't be and I look under the table and far off under the only table we were near and there is the tiny strap of my bag
and there is my bag
so far under
that is the bag
that's why we didn't see it
I grab the bag and hold it like my kidnapped baby
I completely start unhinged crying like the kind of crying you did as an exhausted kid when your balloon pops after the best day at the fair, because it's over and then it's ruined I am sobbing it's hard not to cry now while writing it
Go tell emma I sputter and Nathan looks at me mom never falls apart
well mom is falling apart
He takes back off and this couple at the other table way down there is looking back at me and the guy says are you okay
and I crying say I'm ok I'm ok
He says let me get you a water can I get you a water
I say sputtery okkkk
He gets up to get a water
He is in line for like 20 minutes because that is how long I just cry
Cry for all the running all the hot stress all the new places all the family lugging all the sore muscles all the we can't possibly still do this all the change and the parts we see in our family that are weak I am crying because we won't be stuck in Milan we made our train we are having the luckiest trip ever we are going to Switzerland we don't have to go to the embassy we don't have to live here forever we aren't fucked we are so lucky aren't we
I get the perrier which is the worst kind of water but I drink that whole thing and I say thank you what's your name and it's Nick from South Africa and thank you Nick from South Africa for making me feel like humanity cares and strangers are there for you
I say I thought we lost our bag I thought we lost everything
and we don't belong here
I make it back to Emma and Nathan back in our regular car. We stow our bags we get our seats like we are normal but we are still shaking. Everything is different
We talk about terror and relief
We talk about terror
we look at each other and the grass speeding by the windows
we made the train
we did it in 12 minutes
the sweat made me take off my shirt the heat made this problem
the problem made us realize we have no problems
the luckiness was the ending
the grass going by the window, the ability to keep going, keep eating, be able to get across borders, be able to go home eventually
I have the bag I thought all day, and every day after, even this day
this is the happiest ending of all trips
the story of Milan and the story of how when you get back you realize how lucky you are to have any of it, all of it even the worst of it
