I went to get hay because there was a break in the rain. Uncovered the golf cart, put on my yellow rain slicker with matching pants that I "borrowed" out of Lou's garage from when he was doing tv shoots in the rain. Ahhh to be on a set with everyone in rain gear. Rudolph the red nosed rain gear. The old rain gear had been in there at least 30 years undisturbed like Rip(ped one) Van Winkle.
So I floor the golf cart up to the feed store and it's really not even sprinkling, I know I can get five bales put on and tear back home before the Storm that Will Never Die rages back up again. We don't get rain and this has been 24 hour rain like all the anxiety of the world raining down and flooding your gutters. It would be nice if there weren't so much thank you
I dig my money out of the layers of yellow plastic and into the white scrubs I put on underneath because it reminded me of the time I was 5 months pregnant and my mom came to help me move out of Maryland on a muddy day and she wore white pants. Still funny.
Paid the hay lady, looked outside and see hmm it's getting a little rainy. I better hurry.
I back the golf cart up to the towering hay tower, the cheap hay that I get which is 30 effing dollars a bale right now because fucking Biden as Kurt would say
A guy goes to scale the hay castle and throw down some bales and then
the rain
The rain comes like every dance company in the world converging all at once onto a stage the size of earth. The rain brings all its little wet friends and the rain is not shy of sharing. It is raining so hard that I can't see across the street. The guy is struggling putting one bale in. Four more. The tarp way up high over all the hay blows up with the wind and you know those huge 7000 gallon buckets of water that dump on you at a water park? I look up and there is the end of Splash Mountain coming all down in my direction. In ADDITION to the REGULAR monsoon.
I sit there exposed tiny girl, small cart because I have to get hay. I'm already here. It's one dollar off on Tuesday. I'm already here.
I can't stop the rain
It is funny to sit in a place where you know this is probably wrong and you could do better. But what could I do? I have no power over the rain and my hands are clawlike white cause now it's freezing. I think of Carrie Fisher good anecdote bad reality
He has two bales in now.
I am just sitting in the middle of the rain
I think about taking Lilly to the thrift store the other day with her basketball friend Victoria and how I was in the book section while they shopped and reading about a lady who had a young husband who died of cancer and they only had two years together. Once he died she put a tattoo on the inside of her wrist so she would always see it and remember what got her through and it said
now
I looked up at the rain and the I thought now. I actually started laughing
Try it you guys.
I boated home in the torrential rain with my soggy hay. I kept telling myself I would unload it later but I knew I wouldn't. I hefted it down, dolly-ed it into the mud party barn, retarped the golf cart without electrocuting myself (electrocution not that cute really)
and then I only had mom to get going.
The rain had settled down, found a better unsuspecting place to go dump and sailed out without looking back.
The rain was the best part of my day.
I don't want even one MATCH STICK of extra trouble. But being stuck helped. How else would I know it was funny
and then at the end?
Accomplishment. Battle won. Couch achieved.
You think Louis the 14th and Custer and Ulysses S Grant were like on the battlefield dreaming of the second they could get to the couch
You bet your ass they were
