I rode Mags to the arena with Meriwether tagging along because they hadn't been out in awhile. It was Sunday and the park is usually full of drunk people but I thought I'll take my chances. We passed a lady walking a mini horse which we don't usually see, and my horses think mini horses are like the weirdest freakiest things so I crossed to the other side of the road to give as much space as possible and we passed by and no big deal. It was, however, a harbinger.
We get to the arena and I see that there's a guy in there on a horse that seems to be walking so slowly he is barely walking. A pony (actually a mini horse) is saddled and tied to the outer arena fence. Three stoned guys are sitting under a tree near the pony and four women and a baby are sitting on the bleachers watching the guy barely ride. I assume the lady with the baby is the horse owner cause she is occasionally telling the non rider who is riding in the arena how to ride. I make a wide circle into the grass and around a tree which I NEVER do, because I want much space from that mini horse because I do not want Meriwether, the idiot baby horse, to get all excited about the tiny weirdo horse, and we pass with no trouble. I get back on the path near the arena and pass the rider and say I'm going to turn my horses out there in the arena when you're done, which at our public arena the etiquette is usually the rider who is in the arena will say oh no problem I'll get out, and they'll leave to let a new rider in, especially if someone is ponying a baby horse that might have energy. The guy looks at me cluelessly, so I realize he might not know what the hell he's doing or what I even just said, but usually everyone takes care of each other at this arena so I'm not worried.
I step into the outer arena like normal, and head toward the entrance of the inner arena where the rider is. I think about getting off the horse because I am a safety freak, but it looks like everything is safe and sound.
Suddenly Meriwether bolts forward and I look left past him and see the mini horse has broken loose from his tie and is BARRELLING AT US FULL SPEED like a demon troll on fire. My horse, Maggie, who has been a perfect trail partner for 8 years, since I got her at 3 and she's now 11 - she completely loses her mind. Maggie likes everything in order. Nothing bothers her. She keeps all the boys in the barn under her thumb. They do everything she says because she is the emotional boss mare. This little fireball coming at her goes against everything she stands for. She first thinks FLEE
and simultaneaously thinks KILL
I, unfortunately, am still ON BOARD THE HORSE. And she forgets this momentarily. There is a fence not too far ahead of us so we can't get that far, really, this is a corner we are heading into and deep sand.
So all I know is Meri has dashed forward to the end of his rope that I hold, and Maggie leaps forward too and it's erratic because that bastard is coming right at us and Maggie is aiming her body to try and protect us from this incoming bullet but I am holding the rope of one insane horse and trying to hang on to an out of control Maggie and the world goes circus because it's emergency time, the sky is jumbled with the trees and the horse is moving crazy and I almost go off the side but I hang on and then I think I can almost get her together but then I know I'm going off the side again and dammit the fence is almost right in front of us and we are hurtling forward all crazily and I fall into luckily deep sand and I KNOW Maggie's feet are going to be on top of me and I ball up and throw my hands over my helmet but somehow some THANKFUL FUCKING HOW I am NOT trampled by three horses, I KNOW Maggie magically juggled her feet away from my fleshy pile because Maggie RUNS ANGRILY off with Meri where they are chasing that fucking asshole pony to the far end of the arena and they are beating the shit out of him with their feet.
I stand up not believing that I fell off and am not immediately in the hospital and this is no small miracle, at 56, and then I am PISSED, I am going toward my horses and I yell at the guy in the arena
GET OUT OF THERE NOW I AM PUTTING MY HORSES IN HERE
and the lady with the baby who is an asshole and hasn't even gotten off her bleacher stands up and doesn't say omg are you ok she says DON'T LISTEN TO HER YOU DONT HAVE TO DO ANYTHING THIS IS A PUBLIC ARENA
and I start screaming at her ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? (gesturing at where I fell) I COULD HAVE BEEN KILLED!!! (so shocked I yell) THAT IS SO RUDE!!
She says ACCIDENTS HAPPEN
I am so shocked I say I HAVE BEEN RIDING HERE FOR OVER TEN YEARS! THIS HAS NEVER HAPPENED. YOU ARE SO RUDE! I CAN'T EVEN BELIEVE YOU
And she is doing ZERO about her fucking pony! And I can't get to my horse because that demon is just running at my horses and they are all kicking and my saddle is underneath Maggie and the reins are all tangeld in the stirrups and there is nothing I can do and one of the stoned guys with half a rope is trying to catch the pony but ponies are evil and he might as well be trying to lasso Mt Rushmore with dental floss, there's no way and WHO IS IN CHARGE HERE IS SHE THE OWNER? WTF?! She seems to be ordering him around but not taking any action herself.
I have to stay back because I could be kicked to death and finally I can get the end of Meri's rope and pull him away and Maggie is near enough I can try and stand between her and the evil menace but he keeps charging at my horses and I keep screaming at him to get the fuck out of here and the lady is behind the fence saying you can go in the arena now and I look at her like
are you fucking kidding me lady
with your tight pants and crop top and fat hanging out in between and your toddler named Ever
I can't move my horse without your pony running at us and causing a battle. My horse's saddle is under her STOMACH, and I can't even move to unstrap it because your evil pony is charging at us every 3 seconds with devil horns.
She actually sees for a moment that there is a PROBLEM here and says what can I do I say hold this rope
So she holds Meri so I can try and gently get my other horse untangled from her saddle. The guy manages to finally get the fucking pony with the rope and ties him and I take my horses away and into the arena to run around which is all I came to do in the first place.
I chase them around a little bit and then get all my shit together and resaddle and lead my horses out making a wide circle around the people and their evil pony, and not taking my eyes off that fucking piece of shit until I am all the way down the street and around the corner, in case he gets loose and comes at us again. I get back on my horse once we're out of eyeshot of that pony, and I ride home.
Proud that I stayed on as long as I did. Replaying the awful ride and realizing that I came off the horse at exactly the right time. If I had stayed on, that pony would have actually reached us while I was still on board, and there would have been a horrible battle with hooves flying all with me in the fucking middle on top. I would have been in terrible shape, trampled or worse. I was thankful to allah that it all happened exactly the way it did but I was fucking pissed that people who don't know anything about horses have dangerous little menaces like that one and are so mean and irresponsible in the aftermath when they cause a trauma. They were awful before, during and after, and still right now, wherever they are. They are terrible.
By that night I could barely move my torso, my left chest muscles were shredded from holding on. My balls were all shredded from scraping the saddle and I felt like I had all my skin ripped off down there although I'm still all intact. My inner thigh on the left side apparently held my entire body on as long it could because today it was holding up a painfinger and saying I took one for the team boss. And I must have bounced directly on my pubic bone on the saddle pommel (luckily there was no horn) because a day later it was saying bruisy ouch mommy.
I'm on day 2 now of healing and if I don't twist my body or raise my arm up higher than tit level I'm ok. At night I have to move carefully in bed and hiccuping hurts like a motherfucker. But I did manage to cut back a fatassed bush that's been on the front lawn for a year and I did manage to get hay and unload 5 100 pound bales using only the right side of my body and my left hip.
I'm proud of my horses. It makes me appreciate how totally good they are, every ride. I will now be dismounting for awhile whenever I see a mini horse, unless I am in a fat creek that is so deep I can fall in water safely. I'm also proud that the more I survive terrible situations, the better I get at keeping myself safe. As Emma said, falls come with your sport. I wish I was younger for falls, so I could practice them, but at this age now I have to just get off the horse before the danger. Which I so far have achieved in general.
I rode today and except for trying to heave the saddle up on Dewey, it was good to have a short safe ride with no pony in sight, and to start over.
The lady was meaner than that pony. What the eff has happened to society. Where is the love and the kindness when things go wrong, especially when it's your dumbass pony.
Still processing the event, but glad I only have sore muscles and a disillusionment with bad horse owners. Extremely glad.
