Bro so I got too comfortable.
Yeahhhh sure Kurt I'll take your friend Bruce on your horse along with me to get used to trail riding. The guy's been riding a month, but I saw him ride, he's not terrible, he's got some good balance or a good seat as they say. But he is riding a huge apartment building horse. And a horse that used to be at my barn for five years and I know this horse.
So sure I'll just throw on a bareback pad and take Maggie up. Dewey would be better but he's a little sore and it's Maggie's day to ride (I alternate days) so off I go, beautiful day.
I pick up Hank and Bruce and already Hank is being a bit fussy because he hasn't gotten out at all and he's got new buddies calling to him that he's leaving back in the barn. But still.
I get the crop from Bruce because I see that Hank keeps snaking his head to bite Mags and she will kick him so I use the crop to keep his head away. We're talking about riding and how everything usually goes really well but they are horses so you never know. You're always learning, I tell him, swinging my legs on Mags, using the one leg that I will soon not be able to use very well.
I am grateful for every boring ride. I take nothing for granted, being able to move my body and get around and do all the million tasks for running a barn and a pool and a house efficiently. My house is never as clean as my tack room, but even my tack room gets dust. Dust is earth's blanket.
So I carefully keep Hank and Mags from each other, but we're going up a little hill and then down a little hill and then I miss the one second that Hank takes to snake his head out and bite her on the ass. And then Maggie just loses it. I have no idea what's going on because I am in the middle of a tornado funnel, but Maggie is backing her butt up into Hank and kicking out with both back legs like a mule, trapping him against a fence and just kicking the shit out of him. This tips the top of her body down and we're already aiming down hill so this tips me right off. Which I realize is going to happen and I'm so pissed off and I land flat on my back.
Maggie is still attacking him and all I see is eight horse legs like fat sunflower stalks growing all around me on the floor like a horror movie and I think oh I'm dead she's going to stomp me and Maggie is not interested in stomping me, she keeps her body away she only wants to kill Hank.
So I roll out of there and try and stand up to see if my body works and then I see I have to get my horse away from the guy on the other horse who is saying what should I do should I jump off and I'm like to WHERE you are in the middle of the bombing of Berlin there so I focus on getting Maggie's rein and it takes me a few tries but I get Maggie and pull her off and incident over. She's eating grass.
I sit down on the side of the hill and say I need a minute
The guy, I don't know how he stayed on that horse, and I am doing a mental check of my whole body. I appear to be alive and all parts work. My body needs time to slow down. I am in shock.
His horse has decided it's time to go home and I am thinking for a minute well wait we have to finish the ride, it's still a little more ride we just started. But I stand up and I feel my ankle is hurting. So I'm like okay yeah we can head back. I have to make the dreaded call to Kurt. He's like oh noooo should I come get you I'm like maybe
So I'm hobbling down the trail thinking dammit now I have to go to urgent care. And then as I keep walking limping I'm like nope. I have to go to the ER for an xray.
Kurt shows up with his truck once we're near the road he can reach and I climb on the back and lead my horse from the back of the truck which she's never done and I hope she'll be okay. When we get to my house he says we should do all our rides that way and I was like yeah actually that was really fun. It was the best part.
We throw my horse and stuff back in the yard and he leaves and I go inside to tell B I have to go to the ER and he is running out of the office saying they're stealing all our money there's something wrong at the bank there's fraud it's 15,000 dollars gone and I stare at him who doesn't get nervous easily and I say I have to go to the ER and I start crying and then he starts crying and then we're sort of laughing and I say go do the money meet me at the ER
Hours and xrays later, broken ankle. Just the tip of the bone. Hopefully it will slide back into place. They put a huge white ankle leg condom on my lower leg, and it hardens. It's not a cast but at least it's the size of a dwarf's torso.
So I get home and then I'm crying because I'm trying to do everything now with one leg. Crutches kill so bad on your armpits. You can't push your mom in a wheelchair. You can't shovel a muckfork full of horseshit. You can't do SHIT with one leg as a farmher.
So I do some crying while washing my hair which unhinges B cause I always do everything and I don't make anything his problem except the really important unfixable things so he sees my mortal heart for a minute and then there's just crying. I do not like being hurting and inefficient. To me there is never enough time to do everything. And now I can't even swim and ride, the things I love to do every morning.
It's one day later now. I remembered that mom had a nurse awhile back named Pedro with really nice hair who had a knee injury and was on a knee scooter which I had never seen before and I thought that's a cool thing and I had no idea that months later that very knee scooter would be mine.
I text Pedro and he says yes come get the scooter and use it so B drives to fuckall Woodland Hills to get the scooter but it's free and having the scooter is like being a rescue dog with no back legs, at least I can get around and my armpits aren't shredded. I'm sure I can wreck myself on this scooter but I'm trying to go slower than I want to and do less than I want to. I want my ankle to heal.
So we'll see that the orthopedist says when I call monday and get to go in, hopefully it'll heal up quick and easily and I can be back to two footed. In the meantime my neighbor Julia made mom's eggs for breakfast and B helps me wheel my mom and it's okay to do something else for awhile. To stop trying to be efficient. To just try to understand what this new little piece is. Temporary. Even though it feels like All Over.
Last time I broke something I needlepointed 40 christmas stockings. Time to break out the yarn.
I did learn that if you're riding a horse that is kicking then they are telling you that you aren't giving them a safe bubble around them where a horse can't bite them. They are trusting you to keep them safe from other horses biting them and if you don't do the job they will do it the way they would in the pasture as if you aren't on their back, they will kick the other horse's ass. So when my ankle heals I will fix that hole in poor Maggie's (and my) training and hopefully it's the last time I end up on the dirt to learn something.
I prefer to not have a car accident body.
I did the math and I've had 4200 rides in 13 years. I've had 5 bad rides. The chances of me having a bad ride are .0011
I thank the godsngoddesses for getting away with just a small bone crack. I thank the helmet, the strong body from swimming and riding, the horse hooves that didn't go into my soft stomach parts, the thought and time I've put into these guys to make them safe horses and partners.
I love the guys so much. I can't wait to have my foot back under me. And then in a stirrup.
