So my kids all left to go START THEIR LIVES or whatever and it's been like ALMOST five months and I've been doing alot of horse training.
I thought I was just fooling around and getting out of the house which I am but I am every ride taking a little moron horse along with my regular big boring horse and every time it is like I'm on the fishing boat towing a whopper behind me. Like what's the biggest fish? Swordfish? I'll take two.
I think just riding wouldn't be interesting enough. I like the battle to make a decent horse out of baby horse. I like working with something. Also I like racking up the days one by one, and building something. I think because dementia is just racking DOWN everything, I keep trying to put stones back in the dam cause maybe if I train this baby horse my mom will throw off her heated blanket and dance with her arms above her head.
Either way I figure I end up with a trained horse at the end so no harm looking for a miracle.
I feel like because life is so much paying the hot tub guy 900 dollars to fix a tiny part or buying chlorine and cleaning the pool and tearing up branches off a limb that fell in the front yard in the dark in my pajamas I am a one man show in our house. Show nuff. Life is so many boring things.
So in the mornings I get up and get mom up and feed and muck her and the animals, have some tea and fresh eggs and toast and blackberries, and then with mom warm and situated watching cartoons I'm off to train the little horse of the day, and even though they run when they see me coming with the bridle, they're all business out on the trail. They like an adventure.
Yesterday I went to the creek which I hadn't been to in awhile cause of rain and it was swole up so big I daren't neer cross it (okI'lllstop) but today I went back with the two naughtier horses, Mags and Meriwether, and because my friend Susie said she had crossed it I was like well fuck if she can I can so I hitched up my pants probly literally and I picked the section of creek that I knew was flattest under kind of rushing water and we pounded right in and through to the other side just like the goddamn oregon trail.
It was deep too, and swirling but we did it and then we did it again since I knew we wouldn't die so I could enjoy that one.
Then on the way back in the desert landscape with the scrub cactus and the bushes that Jesse James no doubt surveyed with squinted eyes back in the day a few hunned miles from here, I thought about how success happens in the one day you cross a rain fattened creek and that opens the door or the trail to the next hundred times you cross it. And when you cross a creek there is a whole other land on the other side just waiting for you to discover, christophresscolumbus.
Nature gives a middle finger to the internet. Nature says throw your phone away instagram. Nature says oh okay keep your phone to take pictures because it is worth seeing what I've laid out for you. She says.
So I'm horse training til they're solid citizens even though I'm tired and mucking is alot, it's better than sitting on the New Jersey Turnpike to get to my accounting job.
I can't wait to use up all of 59, it's the last bit of 59 here in my Juliet Myfanwy skin, and I'm grateful she still likes to do stupid shit.
Also Jane is almost 3 and I have to drape the kids off her back soon so she can get used to carrying weight this summer. And Meriwether will be 5 soon and that is the magic number that means he is a usable horse just like all the others. So his workload will slowly trickle upwards. And then if I can't do any of it anymore cause I'm tired I guess I just sell them all and start gambling.
But for now I like using my body, even though I am shaped in the shape of a saddle when I get off the horse, I like the company of their gentle ears, I like the somewhat danger of teaching a new horse, as long as it's only moderate danger, I like a slow ride where we come home new and smarter.
