He is the size of a great dane, if you have seen how tall I am, so we are as mismatched as some NBA players, but he's my horse and there's no one else to train him. So poor little guy. I tell him everyday, you're going to be the grandkids' horse. I just have to ride you first for awhile.
He is a very smart horse. He is 5 so he should be done with shenanigans but when he learns a trick he will use it until you very clearly tell him he can't be doing that. Like when I'm riding Dewey at a canter and ponying Meri alongside and Meri slams on the brakes and Dewey and I try to slam our brakes but not as quickly so I run out of rope and it drops and Meri goes running back and up the crumbly hill to eat a tree he saw that looked good.
So then I have to climb the crumbly mountain and try and drag him down without sliding on shale and he always shows me luckily the easiest path to take if you have one toe on each leg (him) and sandals (me). He's a generous host that way.
After that shitty trick I was complaining to Aela that when I pony Meri he is just a goofy moron like a 4th grader on a field trip but when I RIDE Meri, he is super good because I have arms and legs to give him clear boundaries and he knows exactly the little box he needs to stay in to listen and succeed. She said oh he's just like Matt. Her boyfriend. He wants to know exactly what the rules are, and then he can do it.
So today when I was riding instead of ponying, and ponying Dewey alongside like the anchor old man that he is, my safety device, I thought okay I'll pretend this is Matt.
It was SO MUCH easier to guide a pony when you think of them as just needing clear instructions without any emotion. Don't clog it up with all your thoughts and feelings which are free ranging loudly in my head. He wants JUST THE FACTS, please. He needs clarity.
So Meri kept asking so many questions like want me to go faster here? How bout we walk in this shady part here where I might accidentally scrape your leg on the wall? Hey that wall is knobby! Can I itch my butt on that wall? Lemme see if I can at least scratch my shoulder on there.
Each question I was able to just say with my hands on the reins and my legs on his sides, hey no. Nudge nudge. Let's go over here silly. Two steps over, way easier over here. He was like oh over HERE!! Oh okay!! Hey look it's so open over here I can walk over here way easier!
I ask for the trot which is a new thing we're working on where you want the horse to go gently and not hurriedly into any new faster gait, and usually he tumbles into it like a dryer full of wet clothes and today he was like hey you want me to just stay easy under you, ohhhhh like this!
Of course it's only a few strides every time but it is so amazing when we both realize he's trying very hard to be a good student. His brain is VERY busy. I know this because he chews everything. The reins, my stirrup, my boot, Dewey, any ropes hanging, all chains. He needs me to ease him out of all the questions so he can relax. Kinda just like I need to stop all the emotion blabbering behind everything and just focus on giving clear simple cues.
No wonder our partnership is so volatile at times. It takes practice to figure out how to communicate with two loud brains in the way.
So back to this ride. Everything's continuing well, forward, relaxed, listening. I'm still learning to trust this youngster. I get moments of that.
Around the corner on our regular trail someone left a LADDER folded and leaning neatly against the fence, not in the way at all, not exploding or on fire, and Meri's head went straight up like DO YOU SEE THAT?! THAT IS NOT NORMAL! and his legs went LET'S GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE THIS WAY and started to try and head hurriedly to the right and I just kept my right hand and leg (oh his fleeing side) like a wall with his head turned toward the HORRIBLE LADDER which was NOT CHASING US, it's just lying there on its lunch break soaking up some sun. Meri and Dewey did stop finally and stared at it for a full 5 minutes on full alert. Heads straight up like giraffes, eyes bulging. There is no way they will pass it. If I try to urge Meri forward he is either backing up or going farther to the right.
The goal as the rider here (as a good trainer Mark Rashid says in his books) once you get your horse stopped, is to just sit there yawning. There's no rush. You can stand there all day. Where you gotta be in a hurry? When a horse sees danger, their instinct is to run far and ask questions later like way later like maybe down at the Dairy Queen. But you just ease your horse to a stop and face the direction you want to go (which includes the dangerous ladder in this case) and then you just sit there. So the horse learns after keeping its head up for 5 whole minutes, that when you're riding them, you're gonna sit with them quietly in danger, and when they relax their head down, emotion dissipating, then you sit there a little longer and then nudge them forward like there's no danger at all. And you walk by the ladder with no shouting or kicking or drama, and your horse has one more moment of knowing you're his partner, and to trust you when they're scared. Also learning to rest when they feel danger. Cause horses like THE MOST to stop and rest. If they can rest when there's a surprise ladder, or in real danger like when their feet are trapped in wire, or when you're stuck on the side of a crumbling mountain, then you have the chance to help make it safe.
I wish I was as good at stopping when I'm mad and resting until I can walk past danger in my non horsey life.
So the rest of our regular practice ride up the hill and back felt like it was stitching me and Meri together in a way that would help our future. I felt like I could keep learning to trust my skills and my horse, be aware without being scared, and even look at the flowers and leafy trees while building a bond with my solid trail partner for life.
Man am I sure it is the same building communication with people, why is it so much more interesting with horses.
Maybe Meri will help show me the way.
