It's a Holly Jolly Christmas

Last night we were trimming the Christmas tree and I had to send the kids to their room three times for fighting. The first time there was so much crying I actually yelled "This is a great memory!" Lilly has a cough like a seal played by Demi Moore, and to her horror she could not go to school today. So now I can't do anything either, in those precious few hours I usually get - so Christmas is cancelled.

But she is sitting here eating a popsicle in her cupcake pajamas and we got to read about 40 books together. Because I decided we were too tv reliant. I miss tv now. Then I had to punish the kids yesterday so I told them only an hour of tv or ipod a day and man does that punish ME. But maybe they'll read. I will have to tie Nathan to the book.

We have the Santa's Workshop at the school in two days, am I ever prepared! There's a reason I'm not in command of an army. There's all these parent volunteer slips that have come back to me and I have to try and return all the slips and tell the parents yes, come help out, but instead I'm drowning in the papers and wishing I could eat alot more kettle corn. With chocolate on it. I'll get it done but really all I like to do is sit and collect the money and see the kids happy because they get to buy something for their families. Usually fart jelly. Every mom's dream.

Okay, back to mini-sicky Demi Moore. Yesterday I said "Come on, woman," to Lilly and she said "I'm not a woman!" I said, "What are you?" She said "I'm Lilly, the kid." I love that nickname. She's a little outlaw, you can see it in her eyes.

By the way, our tree came out beautifully. After I fixed the lights because I told Nathan to put on the Christmas lights and I came back in and he had literally wrapped the tree like we were celebrating an all-bondage Christmas. We could have mailed the tree in a flat package. So I gently told him that maybe he wants to do things a little more carefully and take his time - just like in school, I want him to learn to do things WELL, not just DONE - and he was of course listening with a bright glow in his face at my wisdom, he was not putting on his 3-D glasses and hanging ornaments off of them. While Emma sang rap songs where one of the lyrics is "I got passion in my pants and I'm not afraid to show it."

When she's 20 she's going to say "OHMYGOD, Mom, I did NOT know what that meant, what a terrible mother you were." But maybe she'll buy me ice cream. I have a feeling I'm going to be ice cream deficient, it's just a prediction.

Lilly's done with her popsicle and just said "Mom, can I be a tattoo artist when I grow up?"

I better go turn on the tv.