The Unbearable Lightness of Lilly

Disneyland in January on a Wednesday is like getting married in gently falling snow. No one will come, because it's cold, but it's a beautiful and quiet place to be.

We got in for free with the help of a fairy godmother who would probably lose her job if I mentioned her name since she had to take off work, but she has a best friend who works at Disney and he drove all the way down from somewhere really far to let us in and then drive back to Burbank for work while we went on rides all day and played played played.

This is what I like the best about Disneyland. I didn't realize it til my second time on Space Mountain. It's just for fun. You're dizzy, you're running, there's a spacey soundtrack - there's no dishes to do there, or schedule to keep (except the breakneck one of dashing from ride to ride until the bitter end) - everything is fun and everything tastes good and the kids are all happy and the lines are short and we played games and ate candy and saw Mary Poppins and Peter Pan and I wish I was Walt Disney.

Anyway, the best part of all is the part I usually forget to do (the thing Barry always remembers to do), and that's to stop and look. Lilly is the one who helped me remember this. I was rushing to decide which ride is next, and there's a parade going on thru the castle so we all run out to see it even though I think we should keep getting in lines - but Lilly sees the princess she took a picture with in the parade and she says earnestly, "Pick me up, Mom, I have to wave at her. She's waving at me."

So I hoist Lilly up as high as she can be, and the other kids are climbing on railings and looking too and Lilly is waving and the princess waves at her and Lilly says "she saw me!" and that is the best moment at Disneyland. Lilly loves everything, wholeheartedly, and openly.

So we stopped, and now I know why I don't stop because parades make me cry, because I see it all going by, and I see Lilly's little face and everything feels too good. It's unbearable, the sweetness.

Not just Disneyland, which is a great place to be reminded if you like music and fairies around you while you have your realization. But just being in your life is an unbelievably good place to be.