Things seem to have gone a little crazy this month. Starting with Nathan coming to my door (out back in Mom's house) early one morning a few weeks ago saying he was gonna go surfing (even though we were going to the beach the next day) and then the next time I saw him, 7 hours later, he was limping with a huge gash cut into his foot from someone surfing over him, fin cutting his foot.
He did limp right to Bess's basketball game, and THEN to the ER, because being a basketball fan to a little sister is pretty important even if bleeding.
The most important thing so far I want noted is that I MISSED THE BEACH THAT NEXT DAY because Nathan hurt is effing foot. And it's still healing, because it's a nice watermelon slice across the side and bottom right where you walk.
You don't understand, I NEED the beach. The beach is the only place I get to be away from my mom for SEVEN HOURS. Not my mom, what's left of my mom. I usually hate driving but to the beach, there's Del Taco and then water and waves and sand and then yogurt and french fries and then driving back, and I realize I like having Nathan in the car because he says "Yeah you're right" all the time when we talk. Also being in the car with the kids doing the thing we do every summer, their company? That's what heals my soul.
We did manage to finally get to the beach a day ago, even though he couldn't go in the water, and Bess lay in the sand too while I went in even though Baywatch lifeguard with no shirt on like that's just ok, to be all tan and godlike, he told me hey (bro) there's a rip tide be careful.
So I took the boogie board in because I've been riding waves like that this summer even though when you first do it the waves are so strong and you're crashing down like you're breaking every rib as you fly up toward the beach and your legs stream behind you wiggling like spaghetti. And I told the kids well I'll take this board so I can't drown and I swim out to the middle of the beach away from the rocks because the dude said to do that and I'm frolicking and fooling around and then hey there he is swimming at me with his red shorts and his red life preserver thingie and I guess I'm in trouble but I'm trying to act macho
there's a rip current here he's saying
but my feet are touching, I say
reaching for the sand with my toes and then realizing oh wait that's pretty far down actually
He's like grab my thing I'll tow you in if you want
but I have a thing I'm already holding but I say well ok but I don't really grab it hard cause there's an old lady on the beach looking at me like Jaws is unfolding in the water behind me and I don't want to look not completely in control so when Chad or Trevor or whatever this beach lifesaver red shorts guy starts swimming off, I grab the preserver but it pops right out of my hands like I would be the worst whale trainer ever apparently, I can't even grab the floatie
Trevor Chad looks back and I'm like it's ok man, and I'm trying to look as cool as him and my boogie board helps me use wave momentum to keep up with him and we're heading in okay. IT'S OKAY BEACH LADY I DIDN'T NEED TO BE RESCUED I try to show with ultra mellow body language which you can't see because I'm in the water and also no one cares
Anyway he gets out and I don't want to get out because I'll look uncool so I flop in the shallowness further down the beach to the "safe" area again and go out to catch a few more chances at death. The waves are fun it's when I stop catching them and float on my back just to look at the sky that the sea decides to use that time to tug me by the toes toward its ripping special. I know it now, cause I'm part Baywatch so I flip over and act cool while thinking you know I do actually feel that current tiny fear so I swim and float on my board and use the waves to propel me so I don't have to have another embarrassing Travis Curtis encounter (he looks like a Kelly, actually) and I make it back to where I feel my feet again and I decide rip currents are not my favorite and especially they are sneaky, AND powerful, alot like Donald Trump tho when I write it I should strike the word.
I was being rescued when I didn't need to be rescued. Where was Kelly Red Shorts when my mom won't stop talking and none of it makes any sense? Or when she spits out food? Or when my daughter won't get off her phone? Or when my arm hurts from lifting the beloved invalid? Didn't he know that I came to the beach to rescue myself?
I came back that day happy, fresh, driving through farmland with two out of four kids. Time away and frozen yogurt and beach rescue - it cheers a person, deep.
Then my horse has a hole in his face from I don't know what, a self-inflicted gunshot wound maybe, he doesn't like the service, all I know is I have to hose out his hole twice a day and fill it with goo which is actually called Corona, hahaha, for real not kidding, a white goo that heals everything.
So then today he doesn't want me to put his medicine on and runs away when he sees me so I was chasing him barefoot and slammed my foot into this rock hard pile of hardened dirt and I knew I fucking broke my toe.
Of course the first thing I do is stumble inside to get my mom off the toilet while telling her to shut up my foot is hurting, and then I take a handful of motrin and run to a basketball game with a bag of dripping ice because basketball is really good for foot injuries. And then you have that moment watchng the game where you're like imagining the hours you're going to spend in the ER and can you really do that with your Saturday and looking at the toe and Nathan saying it's totally bent dude and willing it not to be bent
but
After the game Nathan and I call the ER where they all know him because he was there at 6 am getting his foot rechecked and he says how long is the wait time
the guy says there's no wait
So we can get right in?
So in an hour and a half I have an xray, a new bag of ice, a fracture and cool boot, and I hobble out with 6-8 weeks of recovery and we joke that the rest of our family should come in next and the male nurse is yelling after us BRING EVERYONE! WE'RE OPEN 24 HOURS!
I like that god decided I needed to do dementia with one foot.
You thought you were doing okay? Well try this
I am going to imagine I am wearing secret red shorts, and that every mission I do every day, even the smallest thing like brushing my mom's teeth, I am going to rescue myself. I have secret pants that tell me hey man
it's all going to be allright.
When things get weird, it's good to know that you have yourself. Slow down, maybe. I learned.
Also I'll get to the beach again.
