Life seems like this jumble like we were on the road we were driving up steep cliffs and seeing huge trees and this was it this was our vacation our car trip and we had planned it so my brother could watch my mom and we had exactly 6 days of freedom
and then B had to be on the phone the whole time because someone went nuts in his life like just jumped off a cliff in her reality and he had to try and patch it all up with a bunch of bandaids and money into a fan and all this while we were dipping our toes into freezing lake water and listening to it lap lap lap our only day of total rest, we just sat by the lake on a tiny strip of beach with maybe four other groups of families, strangers, and the water was 52 and someone had lost their keys and it cost 3000 dollars to moor a boat here and I thought why are we not in Maryland, the water there is bigger and less expensive but Emma and I did walk a trail in the woods and sat by the lake there too and we had forest
we kept tumbling into different places, a casino hotel where the food tasted like rubber and there were overflowing ashtrays like it was 1974 or Oklahoma or something, and there was a huge pool there and we swam in a river in Yosemite where they might have invented clear water, it was so crystal
And then there were some awkward nights where the beds were too small and we crammed in and I wondered how my life shrunk me into myself so sadly
And then there was Hearst Castle and so many stairs when you're worried about someone who can't walk them maybe but the stairs seemed to help and sometimes I would be in the car we rented and listening just to the family talking and I remembered I am in something, I'm not just a floating bubble all on my own all the time
Even though I know I am secured by them, I see them everyday and we eat alot of pizza
But still being human is a fragile thing, we pop so easily
there is never enough time I guess is the problem, and the house requires so much cleaning why is there always so much to do and we forget to stop and just float
